Matthew 18.15-20
“If another member of the church sins against you.” That’s a curious way to start. “If another member of the church sins against you.” In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus teaches us how to respond to the world’s unreasonable demands with God-given grace by refusing retaliation, going the extra mile, loving our enemies. Today, however, his teaching is focused on the internal life of the church. Even within the community of God’s own people, sin has a hold on us. The children of God, beloved by God, made part of the one family of God will know the pain of offense, failure, and trespass against one another in their life together.
“If another member of the church sins against you.” Public or private, serious or slight, accidental or intentional, things done and left undone—Jesus knows these things happen by his own followers to each other. Jesus takes sin seriously. Yet the fact that Jesus guidance like he does today, and promises his presence in the smallest of gatherings, holds out the promise that the way we live, and church and members of it, can be a witness to others of God’s forgiveness, lovingkindness, and grace.
To get a sense of Jesus’ steps of dealing with sin, consider the options we might be inclined to choose if it were up to us, our ‘default settings.’
How about this? If a fellow believer sins against you, tell everyone and anyone who will listen; take what’s personal and make it public. That’s an easy path to take, especially if we’ve been hurt publicly—to make it public. But for Jesus that won’t do.
Or this? If your brother or sister hurts you, post your anger on social media, block that person on your phone, ghost them so you never hear from them or see them again. The word ‘excommunication’ may seem like a dusty old church word but there are plenty of examples outside the church where people excommunicate one another regularly, cutting off communication so that they don’t have to deal with others or, for that matter, deal with what is going on inside themselves. But for Jesus that won’t do, either.
Then there’s what might be called the ‘Midwestern Option.’ Hold it all inside and never let it go, nurse the wound until the whole situation eats away at you and leaves you bitter. That might seem to work until you reach a tipping point, get angry, scream, and shout. But that definitely won’t do. As common as all those options are—gossiping or ghosting, posting or anger—Jesus shows a different way, a more excellent way.
“If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one.” Jesus’ practical, step-by-step instructions are permeated with a deep desire for restoration through patience, gentleness, and time. The aim is not to shame, or scold, or hurt in return but to restore.
Now at the end, as you heard, there is indeed guidance on what to do if the last of the three steps fails to bring about restoration. More on that shortly. Yet Jesus is clear throughout. This is not about winning an argument but winning back a person. Jesus does not say, ‘Point out the fault to shame someone’ or ‘Gather two or three others to show up your enemy.’ No, the goal is to regain a relationship that was lost. Jesus lays out a practical path to follow so that hatred does not develop when a member of the church sins against you.
It begins by speaking with the person privately. “When the two of you are alone.” The temptation when someone has sinned against you is, of course, to talk to others before you talk to the one.
You’ve maybe noticed how, when you’re not in the presence of someone, there’s a surprising freedom to say things about that person that you would never say if you were in that person’s presence. Jesus’ guidance limits gossip. You speak with the person, not about the person. A conversation permeated with Spirit-filled grace may be enough to restore a relationship. Though not always. Jesus makes provision for that, too.
The next step, if needed, is to gather two or three others. This not only fulfills a precept from the book of Deuteronomy that requires two or three witnesses to establish wrongdoing, but it also adds a layer of objectivity. After all, it could turn out that the one doing the confronting has misjudged. Our perspective is limited; we may be wrong. The perspective of others may be needed.
Finally, in the third step, the larger wisdom of the whole community is called on if a private word is not enough. Gather the church. Yet even that may not be enough. “If the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and tax collector.” Only how are we to understand Jesus here as he holds out the possibility that not only might this final move fail, but in what he says about how we are to treat them?
The phrase ‘Gentile and tax collector’ is used throughout the scriptures as a roundabout way to describe people shunned and outcast. Gentiles were outliers to the covenant people of God, at times condemned merely for who they were; tax collectors were so despised for their work that some writers called them ‘birds of prey,’ while others said they shouldn’t be considered human at all.
Does this mean that if a wrongdoer refuses reconciliation, that person should be held in contempt and shunned; that we can finally get around to the anger and retaliation we have been harboring in our hearts from the start? Is this three-step process like a batter in a baseball game who, after missing the first two pitches of grace, is out after a called third strike?
There are some who have taken Jesus’ words to mean just that. Yet if the culture excommunicates people without any real sense that there can be reconciliation and restoration (an idea that is loveless to the extreme) then for the church there must be a better way, a way to hold even the most resistant sinner within the larger horizon of the grace and love of God.
In the fifth chapter of Romans, St Paul say that “God proves his love for us in that while we were sinners Christ died for us” and “while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of the Son.” Paul makes it clear that no sinner is beyond the reach of God’s love.
Now it is difficult to conceive that Paul could be more gracious to sinners than Jesus. So it helps to step back and come at Jesus’ words again and to recall the nature of Jesus’ own ministry. Who were Gentiles and tax collectors to Jesus? They were the very people he sought out and cared for. Jesus’ use of the phrase, “Let such a one be to you as a Gentile and tax collector,” cannot be accidental. The gospels show Jesus’ own constant care for just those very groups of people; they are the focus of his mercy and loving-kindness.
And since Jesus, in his ministry and grace, seeks out the salvation of ‘Gentiles and tax collectors,’ he must be saying today that even with people we consider outliers to our good will can never be outside the desire for reconciliation—God’s or our own. The church, too, continues always to seek the well-being, reconciliation, and wholeness given in God’s for people whose actions and failures—their sins—have put them on the margins of the community. To offer God’s forgiving love again and again just as Jesus himself sought out Gentiles and tax collectors again and again is the orientation of the church’s life and ours as Jesus’ followers. And today, Jesus promises his presence with us in this calling, even in the smallest of gatherings, two or three.
In today’s gospel, Jesus does not suggest for a moment Christians will never sin against one another or that we should expect never to be hurt by the sins of others against us. Instead, he offers clear guidance on the steps to take when we do sin and are sinned against. “If another member of the church sins against you.” Our Lord’s practical steps toward reconciliation—from private word, to small group, to gathering of the entire community—lead us the way of his life.
This is how Paul describes that life in 2nd Corinthians: “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation.” Reconciliation is God’s work for us, and we are invited to share in that work.
This ministry of reconciliation may not always be easy, but it is essential. And when we cannot make it happen in our life or with the people around us—and from time to time we may very well find that we cannot; not all things are possible for us and we may have to let it go and walk away—when we can’t make it happen in our life or with the people around us this is not the chance to humiliate, shame, or punish but to entrust our lives, and the people estranged from us, to the God who holds all things reconciled. “Through Christ, God was pleased to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, by making peace through the blood of his cross.”
Today, Jesus’ guidance, along with his promise to be present with us even in the smallest gatherings, carries God’s assurance that our lives can serve as a much-needed witness to the world. There is a way to respond to sin, fault, and failure through restoration rather than retaliation. In a conflict-ridden and discordant world, this God-given, Spirit-filled witness is the “more excellent way” Jesus gives.
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